The Right Cattitude
by independentwriter-137
Summary: In which Marinette gets hit on by a fake Chat Noir and finally begins to appreciate the real one.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N. Marichat because it is my favorite side of the love square._

* * *

 _-The Right Cattidude-_

* * *

When the guy that slid into the stool next to her said he was Chat Noir, Marinette almost spat her drink out.

For a split second, she thought Chat had discovered her identity and had chosen to reveal himself to her, but she took one look at the guy and _nope there was no way this douchebag was her Chat Noir._ As he smirked what he probably assumed looked like Chat's signature smirk, Marinette spotted at least a dozen differences that instantly told her that he _wasn't_ her Chat. For one, his teeth were slightly crooked, not like the flawlessly straight teeth that Chat flashed her during every patrol. Secondly, his eyes were green, but they weren't the right kind of green. True, Chat's eyes were more like a cat's with his green sclera, and when she was out of costume, the miraculous magic never allowed her to remember their exact shade, but she knew this wasn't it. Chat's eyes were brighter, somehow. Livelier. Always alight with laughter and mischief. All she saw in this guy's eyes was arrogance.

She downed the rest of her shot and turned to raise an eyebrow at the Chat impostor. Even his entire aura felt wrong. Chat could be cocky, yes, and sometimes it could be annoying, but never in the _you-kind-of-want-to-make-me-punch-your-face-in_ kind of way. "Oh, right, and I'm Ladybug," she told him, hiding a smile at her own private joke.

"I swear, I'm Chat Noir. The only reason I'm telling you is because an akuma sent me back in time and I know you're the only one who will believe me. We need to go someplace more private so I can tell you all the details," he said. He waggled his eyebrows at her in a way that made Marinette think of a caterpillar having a seizure.

Marinette could feel Tikki giggling in her purse. Did some women actually fall for this kind of crap? She swept her gaze around the room before landing on Alya and Nino as they moved around on the dance floor. Looks like she's on her own with this one.

When she didn't answer right away, the guy mistook her silence for consideration and quickly reached for her hand. "Help _meow-t?"_

 _Oh hell no._ Marinette felt everything inside of her recoil as she yanked her hand away from the impostor. " _What the actual fuck?_ "

The guy blinked in surprise. "Is there a _purr_ oblem? What's with the sudden _cat_ titude."

"Nope, nope, nope, I'm out of here," Marinette said, and quickly got off of the stool. She'd just text Alya that she decided to leave early. As she stood up to leave, the guy decided that spouting even more cat puns would get her to believe his story. It was flat-out _wrong_ to hear Chat's puns come out of that mouth. Cat puns were her kitty's territory and _only_ her kitty's territory, not this cheap knock-off's. "That was horrible. If some girl actually falls for that, I will officially lose faith in humanity," she managed to say to fake-Chat on her way out.

He gaped at her like he hadn't expected that kind of reaction from her. _Heh, looks like a cat's got his tongue,_ she thought amusedly, _how's that for a Chat Noir pun?_ She prayed that her infamous clumsiness wouldn't strike as she made her way out in the five-inch heels Alya insisted that she wear so that she could get Adrien's attention—not that it mattered since the blond had to cancel because of an extended photoshoot.

By the time she was back on the street, Marinette felt like every part of her exhaled at once. _This_ is why she didn't go to clubs. In between the loud music and claustrophobia inducing stuffiness of the place, it was full of jerks that apparently have taken to turning one-half of Paris's superhero duo into a pick up line.

She ducked into an alley to transform so that she didn't have to walk home in her killer heels, but she quickly found out that she picked the wrong alley to duck into.

"Well look at what a pretty little lady stumbled in, fellas," one of the three guys crooned as they approached her.

 _Great,_ as if her night wasn't going badly enough. Three thugs with nothing more than a couple of switchblades were child's play to her, even without the Ladybug costume. She hadn't been fighting crime for the past three years for nothing. Maybe it would be good to let off some steam by taking it out on a few punks.

The first guy suddenly rushed towards her, switchblade glinting in the moonlight, and Marinette braced herself to dodge and go on the offensive when a shadow dropped on top of the man and knocked him out cold. The other two guys recoiled in shock as the figure rose up.

 _Of course,_ Marinette thought as she watched Chat extend his baton. Even as a civilian, Chat always had her back even if he didn't know it. "You okay, Princess?" he asked without looking back at her.

"I'm fine," she said, taking delight in the way the other two guys watched their exchange with fear. There was an anger in Chat's eyes that she'd never seen before, something hard and dangerous instead of the silly kitty she had grown to know.

"You have two options," he said, "you can get your ass handed to you or you can run." The two men ran and the anger in Chat's eyes faded to amusement. "Smart choice." He turned his attention to her, shooting her a slightly apologetic smile as he said, "Brace yourself, Princess."

"Brace myself for— _Chat!"_

He had swiftly picked her up bridal style and bolted himself over the roof after roof. The view was nothing that she hadn't seen as Ladybug before, but there was a different kind of thrill to this. As Ladybug, she trusted her yo-yo, her battle-tested reflexes, and her skill. She felt safer doing parkour as Ladybug than she did as Marinette crossing the street. Now, it was different. There was no mask, no yo-yo, no magical suit to protect her, but she didn't feel any less safe. Chat wouldn't drop her, she knew, and the leather beneath her fingers brought a different kind of comfort.

Before she knew it, she was on her balcony and Chat was setting her down gently. "Have a nice night and try to stay out of trouble, Princess," he said, and poised his baton to leave.

"Wait! Tell me a pun," she blurted out, and Chat paused as he blinked at her in surprise.

"What?"

"I—I", she stuttered and felt her cheeks begin to redden. She probably sounded like a crazy fan girl, but she couldn't exactly take it back now. "It's just that a guy in the club was hitting on me by saying he was you and using all of these really horrible cat puns that are nothing like yours because he doesn't say it right and now that you're here, I guess I just wanted to—"

" _Meow-ch!_ Sounds like all the cats you _Noir_ full of the wrong _cat_ titude if you feel that strongly after a little _chat,_ " he said with a smirk that was so Chat Noir that it made her heart stutter in a funny way that didn't usually happen.

"Thank you," she said, surprised at how her voice was a little breathless.

His eyes lit up as his smirk faded into something more honest. He gave her a two-fingered salute and a wink before launching his baton. "Anytime, Princess," he said, then he disappeared into the night. Marinette stood there a second longer, eyes lingering on the place he had previously occupied before shaking herself out of the strange little daze that she found herself in.

"Stupid cat."

* * *

 _A/N. Dunno if I have plans to continue this, but it's been on my computer for a while and I figured I'd post it._

 _Please leave a review to let me know what you think and if you think that I should just leave this as a one-shot._

 _-Indy_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N. Thank you so much for the response to this fic! Your reviews really blew me away. I hope you enjoy the part deux of this little fic. Please note that the rating has been bumped up to a T because of Alya being Alya._

* * *

 _-The Right Cattitude-_

* * *

"Hold up, _what_ happened?" Alya screeched, loud enough for Marinette to wince and regret inviting her friends over.

She took a deep breath and repeated what she just said. "While you and Nino were on the dance floor, a guy hit on me pretending to be Chat Noir."

"Girl," Alya said, obviously stunned.

"Yes?" Marinette asked.

" _Girl,"_ Alya replied as if that was enough of an answer. Marinette cast a glance at Nino, silently pleading for aid. He merely shrugged and began a silent countdown in his mind before Alya's inevitable outburst. "What did he say? What did _you_ say? Oh my God why am I only hearing about this _now?_ "

Marinette sighed, "Basically he just told a lot of cat puns and—"

"How would someone even flirt while pretending to be Chat Noir?" Alya interrupted, lost in her own sea of question. She turned to Nino with what Marinette assumed was supposed to be a copy of Chat's signature smirk. "Hey, babe, wanna see what else I can do with this baton?"

"Alya!" Marinette admonished while Nino howled with laughter. She glanced nervously at Adrien, who seemed to be blushing even more than she was. Marinette didn't think she'd ever seen Adrien blush so hard and the sight made her flush even more in mortification.

"Shhhh," Nino whispered conspiratorially and covered Adrien's ears. "You'll taint the innocence of the sunshine child."

Alya lowered her voice to match Nino's. "He can handle it. Get Argekt."

"Can you imagine if someone pretended to be Ladybug though? Imagine how _she_ would flirt," Nino said.

Alya fluttered her eyelashes exaggeratedly and said, in what Marinette believed was the _worst_ impression she had ever heard, "Wanna get tied up in my yo-yo?"

 _Okay, that's enough,_ Marinette thought as she and Adrien both flushed a shade darker. Marinette cleared her throat to get their attention and glared at Alya. "As I was saying, it was nothing like that. He basically said he was from the future and that I was the only one who could help him defeat the akuma that sent him here, then proceeded to spew a bunch of cat puns."

"That's horrible," Nino snickered.

"I'm gonna need some details on what he looked like because this is _definitely_ going on the blog. Wouldn't want to sully Chat's reputation in case some poor girl actually believes this guy," Alya said, already whipping out her phone.

"You should have seen his face though," Marinette said, beginning to join Nino in his laughter, "he looked _so_ surprised that the cat puns weren't working."

"What's wrong with cat puns?" Adrien asked, sounding surprisingly offended.

Alya raised an eyebrow at him, "For starters, they're the lamest way to flirt. Seriously. Even if he was the real Chat Noir, that's no way to a girl's heart."

Adrien looked like he might defend the validity of puns when words tumbled out of Marinette's mouth before she could stop them. "It wasn't that bad!" she said, avoiding three pairs of eyes as they all turned to her.

"You _hate_ puns," Alya said.

"I don't hate puns. Well, for the most part. Maybe sometime. My point is cat puns as flirtation aren't bad. I mean, fake-Chat's were bad, of course, but it wasn't so much that cat puns are bad per se. He just wasn't saying them right! It's all in the delivery and no one can deliver a cat pun like Chat Noir because he's, well, Chat Noir. So. Yeah. Puns," she finished lamely, her hands hovering mid-gesture as she forced herself to cut off her own word vomit.

There was a beat of silence. Alya's expression turned suspicious while Nino simply looked confused. Adrien, on the other hand, seemed to be smiling for some unknown reason.

"Looks like Marinette's got the right _cat_ titude for puns, isn't that right, _Purr_ incess?" Adrien broke the silence with the biggest shit-eating grin Marinette had ever seen on his face.

Three things happened at once:

Adrien paused the moment he processed what he just said and Marinette had just enough time to register the panic that filled his eyes before stopped working.

She sat there, gaping and blushing, and unable to form a coherent thought because _nobody could deliver a cat pun like Chat Noir and yet that just came out of Adrien Agreste's mouth._

Nino and Alya watched the exchange in amusement and confusion. Alya nudged Nino with her elbow to whisper, "What just happened?"

"I believe _that_ is how you deliver a cat pun while flirting," Nino replied.

"I think he just broke Marinette," Alya said.

"I think he just broke himself," Nino whispered back.

Marinette let out what sounded like a high pitched squeal before scrambling up and running out of her own apartment, Adrien hot on her heels, fruitlessly calling for Marinette to wait.

"Should we go after them?" Nino asked.

Alya snorted and leaned further into the couch she was sitting on. "Eh, they run out on us all the time. What else it new?"

* * *

 _A/N. I don't think I'll be adding a part three to this because I'm pretty satisfied with it as a two-shot, but if the plot bunny bites, who am I to resist the muse?_

 _Leave a review!_

 _-Indy_


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